WRITING ON THE INSIDE OF MY EYELIDS
Prologue
Eulogy given at Patrick’s Funeral by Robert Kellerman
Today we are celebrating the life of William James Patrick Kellerman.
My brother.
Most of you here today wouldn’t, of course, have known Patrick as a child or even in his youth. Patrick’s world as a child was dinosaurs, science fiction and fantasy. These were the things of imagination. Imagination is what drove Patrick and is the fundamental characteristic that defined him.
Patrick always approached life doing his own thing, his own way. When fitting in meant everything to most teens, Patrick did what he wanted and did it on his own terms. Whether this was his love of and great involvement in theatre, the clothes he wore, (many of you wouldn’t know, but Patrick made famous the puffy Pirate shirt long before it was the topic of humour on a Seinfield episode), or his unique moves on the dance floor, fitting in did not matter to him.
When turning 16 meant new found freedom by getting a driver’s license (every male teen’s ambition, right?), Patrick had no interest. Rather, his preferred mode of transportation was his bicycle.
Looking back, I know he probably had a lot more fun then I ever did, but more importantly, he showed me that it was OK to do what you wanted, and he helped to open my view of the world, which otherwise would have been much narrower.
This was his credo, to take on life on his terms, which he continued to do throughout his life, despite the many obstacles that were placed before him. So if Patrick had a goal, or if there was something that sparked his imagination, he would work very hard to make that goal a reality.
Patrick, then, was a risk taker. But when relating to the needs and activities of others, Patrick was the consummate worrier, always concerned about the well being of others and never about the implications to himself.
As a brother, Patrick was always there for me, and would come to my assistance whenever I got in over my head. Sometimes, he did this in what seemed to be a begrudging manner. But that was his way. He wanted to make it clear that I had screwed up, and that I better be wiser the next time.
Patrick had a wicked temper as a child, but thankfully as he matured and mellowed, his temper was diluted with a strong dose of humour. Nothing, no one, or no subject matter was exempt. Whether it was the most intrusive medical procedure he would repeatedly be subjected to, or the politics of the day, Patrick could always put a humorous spin on it, often having us all in stitches over his rendition or analysis of a situation.
More often than not, Patrick himself was the victim of his own barbs. He was known to take himself a little too seriously at times, pontificating about whatever the subject matter of the moment. But he could recognize this and make great fun of himself. And if he didn’t, and someone else did, he took just as much pleasure in that.
As with anyone who has battled a debilitating disease or disability, it would be easy to look at this person’s life and bemoan what could have been. This could have particularly been the case for Patrick. Patrick was such an imaginative, outgoing - even flamboyant person that offered the world so much, that it could have indeed been easy to think of all that lost potential.
But anyone who knows Patrick would never think that. Because Patrick isn’t what could have been. Rather, in remembering Patrick, one thinks of what was. Patrick was what everyone within the human experience is, only magnified. Because he lived the human experience to the fullest. All the joys and sadness, successes and failures, battles and pain. He lived every emotion. Not only did he live them, but he embraced with courage some of the most difficult challenges imaginable.
And now through his death, Patrick is. Patrick is the gateway of fantasy and wonder brought about by his storytelling and that will forever be in the memory of his children, nieces and nephews, and the many other children who were lucky enough to hear his stories.
Patrick is the voice that continues to echo because he demanded to be heard if any person, government or institution was not treating him or others with disabilities with the respect, dignity and recognition that they deserved.
Patrick is the compassion illustrated in acts such as trying to bring humour into the lives of the many health professionals who cared for him daily, as he felt it was his responsibility to try and break the monotony of their day and make someone else’s day better. All the while when his own daily existence was so difficult with hours upon hours of monotony.
Patrick is all the professions, skills and knowledge, vision, creativity, wisdom, worry, and love, acquired through a rich life and which he freely passed on to others.
Patrick is the feelings we haven’t and probably never will experience, if not expressed so wonderfully in the writings that he left for us.
Despite all of the difficulties in Patrick’s life, the only burden too unbearable for him, particularly in recent years, was his inability to more actively contribute to the raising of his children. Patrick is the father who will eternally love and adore his children, Rebecca and Cailum, and his partner Deborah, and who now, through his spirit, will be able to contribute to their lives each and every day. From something that deeply troubled him more than anything, he has now been freed.
Patrick has traded his wheelchair for a bicycle.
Patrick is the part of us whose souls he has touched. He is the indelible imprint that has been left in the hearts of everyone he shared his life with. As difficult as it has been for so many at times, he is the human experience and has taught us all so much. We are all blessed to have been a part of his life and we are all the richer for it.
Patrick is my brother.
Previous Page | Table of Contents | Next Page
[ Top ]
