Active listening

While the choice of words, tone and rate of speech, and body language are all critical for effective communication to transpire, there is another component that plays an equally important role: listening.

The listener is the entire other half of the communication paradigm. The listener has the critical role of receiving and processing sent information.  And, they must do so accurately in order to formulate an appropriate response to the message that has been sent. Active listening increases the likelihood that this interplay has greater fidelity because it allows the listener to verify with the speaker whether the interpretations he or she is making are accurate. 

Active listening changes the communication dynamic from merely listening as a part of the basic information exchange to a deeper process of listening for meaning.  Active listening serves to collate information and assess all of the communication cues (verbal, paraverbal, and non-verbal) simultaneously.  As a consequence, the intention of the listener changes from a passive recipient to one engaged in ensuring that they understand the entire message.  Further, when employing active listening, the listener conveys to the speaker, in both subtle and overt ways, that they understand what is being communicated. 

• Paraphrases or summarizes what they hear to ensure the verbal message they receive is accurate.
• Reflects feelings of the speaker to ensure the paraverbal and non-verbal message they receive are accurate.
• Strives to be non-judgmental.
• Asks both open- and closed-ended questions to retrieve maximum, relevant information.
• Tries to put themselves in the speaker’s shoes or see things from their perspective.
• Attends to the speaker by:
• Sitting or standing in a comfortable proximity to the speaker, leaning slightly toward the speaker, 
• Using open posture (arms and legs are relaxed or uncrossed),
• Nodding, shifting their bodies, using their hands and facial gestures in a natural, sensitive, and appropriate manner, and
• Avoiding distracting, dismissive behaviours (shuffling papers, checking messages or emails, etc.) while the speaker is talking.